Shortly after he died, I bought a red purse. I knew I needed it, but I didn’t know why. For years the purse sat on my dresser, waiting for me to take up its call.
The Red Purse tells a story of transition, of rebuilding. The project grew from a journey, my journey, of navigating through—and beyond– the darkness and uncertainty of young widowhood.
After my husband passed, I was overcome with grief, with fear, with sadness, but other emotions, confusing, even shameful emotions, soon struck: a rush of femininity, a burst of sexuality, an unexpected excitement. Alone with two young children, I struggled to absorb and understand these disparate, and, at times, unsettling feelings.
He had been ill for a long time, and I craved for a sense of normalcy, a sense of wholeness. I wanted what I had lost.
I had trouble thinking of myself as a widow, unwilling, at first, to join that club. I did not want to raise my boys under a shroud of loss. I did not want people to pity me. I slowly, cautiously, stepped outside of my grief.
Rejoining the world did not come easy. When I had fun, guilt ate away at me; when things did not go well, shame prevailed. I alternated between ups and downs, exhilaration, and embarrassment. Confusion reigned, for years. Gradually, I became bolder; I dared to experiment, trying out new roles, new personalities, new styles. I flirted; I dated; I risked. I felt, almost, like an actress in my own movie, sometimes a film noir—full of danger, drama, and suspense.
The red purse stood as a daily reminder: despite the enormity of the tasks at hand, I needed to make room for femininity, for frivolity, for spontaneity. It gave me permission to experiment with who I would become, both real and imagined.
The Red Purse project is, in the end, not a tale of grief, but rather a toast to life, to redefining, to flourishing. The Red Purse, a fictionalized account of my story, is meant to inspire, to prompt conversation, to pay tribute to those who have lost, to those who have struggled, and to those who have evolved.
About Jacque Rupp
Jacque Rupp is a documentary and fine art photographer based in the San Francisco Bay Area. As a visual storyteller, Rupp uses her camera to challenge and provoke thought, offering a distinctive perspective on the world. In her latest work, she focuses on womanhood, using her own image and experiences to explore themes of identity and purpose.
Rupp earned an MBA from Santa Clara University and worked as an executive in Silicon Valley before pursuing her lifelong passion for the visual arts. She studied photography at Stanford University, the Los Angeles Center of Photography, and Santa Fe Workshops. She serves on the advisory board for the United Nations Association Film Festival (UNAFF) and is a board member of The Weston Collective, a nonprofit organization dedicated to expanding student access to photography.
Rupp’s photographs are held in private collections and have been widely exhibited in juried shows and publications. Her documentary work on farmers in the Salinas Valley has been utilized by numerous nonprofit organizations both in print and online. Jacque Rupp was a Critical Mass finalist in both 2022 and 2023, highlighting her significant impact in the field of contemporary photography. [Official Website]
The Red Purse Book
Signed, First Edition (2023)
Published by Daylight Books
Hardbound
116 pages, 9 x 6”
Text and Photographs by Jacque Rupp
With a conversation between Elinor Carucci and Jacque, and Afterwords by Jason Langer and Ann Jastrab
Designed by Ursula Damm
ISBN 978-1-954119-26-0
